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You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize