Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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