my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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