adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
