If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
