fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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