Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
