You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
