Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Randomize
