Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize