I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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