I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize