JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
