I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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