Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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