Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
