piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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