you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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