i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she told me i tasted like america
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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