Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)

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  (414): But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;) http://tfl.nu/bfcm
  Replies (3) Good night (1854) Bad night (797)
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  (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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  (310): my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis. http://tfl.nu/isfk
  Replies (18) Good night (1300) Bad night (3301)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.

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  (219): Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream. http://tfl.nu/v6je
  Replies (37) Good night (7080) Bad night (862)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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  (425): all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help. http://tfl.nu/bkkn
  Replies (6) Good night (3691) Bad night (1093)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.

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  (864): and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot. http://tfl.nu/9hr6
  Replies (10) Good night (2393) Bad night (1741)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?

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  (828): Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight? http://tfl.nu/35kg
  Replies (10) Good night (847) Bad night (2715)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.

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  (520): I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people. http://tfl.nu/38n6
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (1276)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.

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  (203): nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles. http://tfl.nu/y6oh
  Replies (14) Good night (2838) Bad night (1052)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...

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  (248): Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower... http://tfl.nu/43yc
  Replies (16) Good night (632) Bad night (2264)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.

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  (208): You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch. http://tfl.nu/o56t
  Replies (1) Good night (1375) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money

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  (647): I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money http://tfl.nu/kbmq
  Replies (10) Good night (819) Bad night (1614)
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  (958): View more from

  her vagina just converted me to Judaism.

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  (958): her vagina just converted me to Judaism. http://tfl.nu/z5ti
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

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  (440): You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand. http://tfl.nu/z0q1
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.

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  (213): idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot. http://tfl.nu/1auj
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.

  (1-714): View more from California

  I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass

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  (714): He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy. (1-714): I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass http://tfl.nu/19re
  Replies (0) Good night (782) Bad night (262)

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