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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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• (716): View more from New York

  once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY

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  29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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• (310): View more from California

  Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have major gossip for you.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh no, did you have sex last night?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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  21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We can get drunk and battle coyotes

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem

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• (415): View more from California

  I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.

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• (914): View more from New York

  My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.

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