Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...

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  (402): Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important... http://tfl.nu/xkl9
  Replies (16) Good night (995) Bad night (1839)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."

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  (571): We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants." http://tfl.nu/wjgr
  Replies (16) Good night (802) Bad night (3467)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!

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  (718): Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG! http://tfl.nu/4lok
  Replies (63) Good night (7549) Bad night (1094)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

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  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (27015) Bad night (1361)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.

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  (716): I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk. http://tfl.nu/wlu8
  Replies (103) Good night (3068) Bad night (12212)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's

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  (214): things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's http://tfl.nu/bgm4
  Replies (35) Good night (1202) Bad night (4759)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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  (859): Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here http://tfl.nu/kvme
  Replies (13) Good night (1876) Bad night (4691)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

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  (305): Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning? http://tfl.nu/gt8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3476) Bad night (1670)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

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  (916): I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter. http://tfl.nu/a3e6
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (2544)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  That would warm my breasts.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.

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  (770): That would warm my breasts. (770): In this context breast is a metaphor for soul. http://tfl.nu/yhcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1117) Bad night (429)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...

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  (407): he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet... http://tfl.nu/8m0e
  Replies (4) Good night (450) Bad night (870)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

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  (720): I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help. http://tfl.nu/0nf6
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (1031)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke

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  (416): Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke http://tfl.nu/mtw8
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (1158)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.

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  (512): She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on. http://tfl.nu/lja4
  Replies (17) Good night (686) Bad night (1183)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow

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  (787): You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow http://tfl.nu/nndh
  Replies (5) Good night (1147) Bad night (275)

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