If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize