Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
