Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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