just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
