literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Randomize
