Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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