It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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