just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
