sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
