So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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