genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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