let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
