That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
