Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
