Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
