Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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