PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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