Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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