please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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