I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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