remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
