This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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