do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
