I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
