His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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