It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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