Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
