yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
