yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
