I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
