come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
