What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
