It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
