You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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