shes about as inviting as chlamydia
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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