Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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