She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
