Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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