I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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